Keeping a sense of humor is imperative for mothers. Well, that and access to a steady supply of fine wine, good chocolate, and a quality bathroom door lock. Or is that just me? In any case, when your children or grandchildren are driving you batty, take a deep breath, count to ten, and remind yourself that you are not alone.
There is nothing more challenging than parenting and nothing more rewarding. Our darlings stress us out, make us cry, cause us to laugh, and bring us joy. I am comforted that others, more talented than I, have put this profound experience into words. Enjoy these 15 funny quips and wittiest quotes about motherhood.
1. “The hand that rocks the cradle is usually attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.” – John Fiebig
2. “Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.” – Unknown
3. “Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying ‘Dada’ first.”
– Mignon McLaughlin
4. “I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.” – Tina Fey
5. “What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.” – Mark Twain
6. “No Matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” – Florida Scott Maxwell
7. “A worried mother does better research than the FBI.” – Unknown
8. “Being a working mom is not easy. You have to be willing to screw up at every level.” – Jami Gertz
9. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
10. “The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” Jane Sellman
11. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
12. “I know how to do anything. I’m a mom.” – Roseanne Barr
13. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
14. “Never let your mom brush your hair when she’s mad at your dad.” – Gallagher
15. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children.'” – Susan Savannah
Do you feel better now? I hope that brought a smile to your face. If you liked this list of funny quotes about motherhood, share it with the women you love. We all deserve a chuckle…and a spa day…and a vacation. Just saying.
Life is better when we lift each other up.
Cindy Gallop is an outspoken champion of women in the workforce. When she speaks, people in the corporate world sit up, take notice, and often cringe. She doesn’t care. As the chair of the U.S. branch of Bartle Bogle Hegarty, a global advertising agency, she was known to make waves in the male-dominated industry.
She has since utilized her considerable influence and experience to found the startups IfWeRanTheWorld and MakeLoveNotPorn. She also wrote a book on the latter, Make Love Not Porn: Technology’s Hardcore Impact On Human Behavior. Her 2009 TED talk on the topic has received almost two million views on YouTube. Here are 11 breathtaking Cindy Gallop quotes about equality that helped catapult her to celebrity status and become the business crush of thousands.
“I deplore the shying away that can go on, within women, from the term ‘feminist.’ I am, absolutely, all about being a feminist.”
“I like to describe myself as a proudly visible member of the most invisible segment of our society – older women.”
“Women who play it the way the men do, play by the men’s rules, are seen as domineering, aggressive bitches.”
“I am all for the Lean In movement. But the Lean In movement is all about how women can win while working within the existing corporate structure and the existing system and the existing world of business. I don’t want you to do that. I want you to redesign it.”
“You’ll never own the future if you care what other people think.”
“I realized I was an attractive older woman who never wanted to settle down.”
“If I ran the world, I would find a way to bring the wealth of human good intentions and corporate good intentions together – to activate them collectively into shared action against shared objectives that produces shared hard, tangible results.”
“My personal cause and platform, if you like, is women’s rights and women’s issues.”
“Women challenge the status quo because we are never it.”
“Do you have a different point of view from the men? Say so! Do you see an all male environment in your agency? Call it out and do something about it!”
“I idolize every woman who has ever fought to make equality happen for all of us.”
So, what do you think of these provocative Cindy Gallop quotes? Does she go over the top or is she right on the money? I wrote an extensive post on the struggles of career women, including a bit of advice from her. Check it out here. Whether you like her or not, Cindy is here to stay. Is she your business crush or do you have someone else in mind? Leave a comment below and let’s keep this conversation going.
Photo: Eva Blue