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15 Funny Quips and Wittiest Quotes About Motherhood


Keeping a sense of humor is imperative for mothers.  Well, that and access to a steady supply of fine wine, good chocolate, and a quality bathroom door lock.  Or is that just me?  In any case, when your children or grandchildren are driving you batty, take a deep breath, count to ten, and remind yourself that you are not alone.

There is nothing more challenging than parenting and nothing more rewarding.  Our darlings stress us out, make us cry, cause us to laugh, and bring us joy.  I am comforted that others, more talented than I, have put this profound experience into words.  Enjoy these 15 funny quips and wittiest quotes about motherhood.

1. “The hand that rocks the cradle is usually attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.” – John Fiebig

2. “Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.” – Unknown

3. “Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying ‘Dada’ first.”
Mignon McLaughlin

4. “I had to get back to work.  NBC has me under contract.  The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.” – Tina Fey

5. “What would men be without women?  Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.” – Mark Twain



6. “No Matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” – Florida Scott Maxwell

7. “A worried mother does better research than the FBI.” – Unknown

8. “Being a working mom is not easy.  You have to be willing to screw up at every level.” – Jami Gertz

9. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford.  Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

10. “The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” Jane Sellman


11. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle

12. “I know how to do anything.  I’m a mom.” – Roseanne Barr

13. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron

14. “Never let your mom brush your hair when she’s mad at your dad.” – Gallagher

15. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children.'” – Susan Savannah

Related Reading: 17 Powerful Quotes from Pioneering Businesswomen

Do you feel better now?  I hope that brought a smile to your face.  If you liked this list of funny quotes about motherhood, share it with the women you love.  We all deserve a chuckle…and a spa day…and a vacation.  Just saying.

Life is better when we lift each other up.

11 thoughts on “15 Funny Quips and Wittiest Quotes About Motherhood

  1. Love, love, love these quotes! Definitely put a smile on my face!

    1. Hi, Emily. I’m happy to know you enjoyed them. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I really enjoyed these – but especially this one lol – “No Matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” – Florida Scott Maxwell 😀

    1. Hi, Lynda. Since I’m middle-aged, I find that one rather humorous too. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Lovely quotes and perfect for Mother’s Day. The one about having more than two hands is so true.

    1. Hey, Rebecca. So glad you enjoyed the quotes. I sure had fun researching for this post. I laughed a lot. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hey, Diane. Thank you. Just a little levity to start the weekend.

  4. You did make me smile, as I’m trying to put together my kitchen after remodeling. Who said this was a good idea? lol… I hope some folks in Texas can smile at this — boy do they have their hands and hearts full. Thanks for the laugh!

    1. Hi, Margaret. I can’t be serious all the time, you know? It’s just not my personality. I occasionally have to write a post that makes me smile. Thank you for sharing.

  5. I’m sitting on the couch exhausted after a day with the grands and this definitely made me smile.

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